The Witching Hour

'Tis Halloween tonight and, even though it's a Wednesday, I'm somewhat aquiver.

It's one of many times of the year that, regardless of what I am actually doing for it, I find a little magical.  There's something in the air, I can taste it. Tastes like rotting flesh.  Mmmm.

On Saturday a friend and I went to Fright Night at Movie World in Queensland.  This coming weekend there's the conclusion of the city's week-long Carnival Macabre, and Vampiric immersive theatre and ball.  Tonight I'm attending a casual little Halloween celebration, then there's a stage performance of Rocky Horror in the city.  Thanks to the event falling mid-week, Halloween has become a week-long Festivus.

This was the second time we've gone to Fright Night at Movie World, and though it was more crowded than ever, we had an amazing time of it. We dressed as zombified doctors in medical scrubs spattered with blood, white face paint, and blood dripping from our eyes and mouths. We made these costumes last year (well, I ordered the scrubs and my friend who is talented at blood spatter decorated them), and decided to reuse them this year as they worked so well.

Best. Costume. Ever.

The theme this year was The Walking Dead, so the place was crawling (literally) with actors dressed as zombies.  Mocking laughter in queues turned to shrieks when they turned and lunged at people over barricades, snarling and hissing as they groped for fresh meat.  Our costumes led people to be unsure whether we were part of the cast, or fellow punters, and we made this even more difficult by remaining in character any time we weren't part of a queue, and certainly whenever we went past the camera on rides. This was particularly satisfying at one point in the evening when a zombie paused in the dark alley, his head turning to follow a woman walking past, who freaked out when she noticed him.  He turned back from his efforts to find my friend by his head staring at him vacant-eyed and snarling, her teeth hovering near his throat.

Have you ever seen a zombie jump from a fright? You haven't lived until you do.

The night opened with us being let into the main street lined with the bodies of dead girls. We gathered in the roped-off sides of the street as various characters from horror movies wandered into the street; Ghostface, Leatherface, Jason, Freddy, Dracula, that creepy chick from The Ring, Sweeney Todd and many more.  Notably no JigSaw this year, which is a shame - the sight of him slowly cycling down the street in the middle of the night last year was quite disturbing A few zombies shuffled through the audience, to the girlish screams of some nearby teenagers, then "Thriller Night" started blasting over the speakers.  

It was at this point that the dead girl lying near my feet grabbed my leg and lurched to her feet. Zombies and serial killers shuffled their way into formation and the boogied to the beat.  I must say, seeing killers from a dozen horror films doing the Thriller dance in unison is something of a sight.

Thriller night.

As part of the Halloween festivities, several warehouses are converted into giant mazes.  Last year I was mocked for ducking when a man wrapped in barbed wire lunged at me over a fence.  Yes! I ducked! And I'd do it again! I'd say that's a perfectly sane reaction! My favourite maze last year was the Zombie Apocalypse, which was also the most simple of the mazes.  It consisted of a series of wire mesh fences, bright flashing lights and lots of smoke - the result was extremely disorienting.  Add three witless teenage girls clinging to my shoulders and screaming in my ears, and it's a wonder I ever made it out of that maze with my sanity intact. (Some would argue that I didn't...) The maze often left you with two options as to which route to take; choose the wrong one and you would be confronted by a zombie who forced you back to the correct path.

A zombie trying to make friends

My favourites of the zombies were the twin girls in blue dresses carrying a bedraggled teddy bear, and Zombie Jesus; a guy with long brown hair and a beard who shuffled towards us and then leapt.  Suddenly he was hanging spread-eagled on the fence right by us as the wires of the fence quivered dramatically.  I don't know how he did that, but it was damned impressive.  

Other notable mazes included the aforementioned Saw maze, and Arkham Asylum, which was filled with the various villains of the franchise.  My favourite there was Poison Ivy, who stood poised on a dais in the centre of the room wrapped in ivy, completed motionless as our group made its way around her, only to pounce on the rear members of the group who shrieked rather satisfyingly.

This year the Zombie Apocalypse was replaced by the Film Vault.  A similar setup, but this time we were haunted by horror film villains.  It all went pear-shaped when the leader of the group took a wrong turn down an alley to be met with Ghostface.  Three of the fourteen year olds at the rear of the group fled in a panic, leaving one behind.  We turned around, and I allowed the kid to move in front of me after he tried to climb me in his haste to put some distance between him and Ghostface.  This left me  glancing nervously over my shoulder now and then as Ghostface continued to follow us down the corridor.

Bringing up the rear meant the nape of my neck itched for the rest of the maze, as I was followed by Freddy Kreuger and Jason.  I was amused when the leader of the group pushed his way through some rubber curtains and I heard, "are you freaking kidding me?" When I made my way through, I understood why.  Crawling towards me along the floor on my right was the girl from The Ring.  I quickly dodged left, to be met by her twin shuffling towards me.  A very quick dodge around the corner and I was met by a couple of zombies.  Yep, definitely feeling the adrenalin by that point.

Zombie Amy Winehouse
My favourite costume
sighting of the night!

The new Walking Dead maze was similarly interesting, as we wound our way through a hospital.  Dead bodies lay in piles of gore, or dismembered on hospital beds, while zombified doctors and nurses tried to hunt us down.

The night finished, as it did last year, with a vampiric burlesque.  Last year we had no idea what awaited us.  We sat down to watch a burlesque group strut their stuff, as they pulled men out of the audience and treated them to a lap dance.  They slowly unbuttoned the men's shirts, and then - 

They started to feed.

Enter Van Helsing, and a bloody battle ensued, with him the ultimate victor, the street littered with gored bodies.  Uncle Fester came along at that point with a wagon and the cleanup began.  As he drove along, he cried, "bring out your dead", much to the delight of the Python fans in the audience.

It will be interesting to see what Perth brings to the Halloween action, but meanwhile I need to decided whether or not to wear my mad zombie doctor costume to a Halloween party tonight at which there will be small children....

Oh, the temptation is strong in this one.

Happy Halloween!

Everybody was siamese fishing

Having recently moved, I was all inspired to do a bit of redecorating, and in the process I decided it was time I got a new pet.  I've been wanting one for months, but my small living space made something furry undesirable. I love dogs, and hope to finally have one of my own someday, and even considered a ferret, but the smells that accompany furry animals are not compatible with the size of my accommodation. Dogs and their odours need room to breathe, as it were.

I finally decided to revisit fish ownership, specifically a siamese fighting fish, as it's the only kind I've ever owned, they don't require much space, and they're pretty.  I last owned one when I lived in a share house with 3 other girls while studying for my teaching degree.  Three girls in one house? I'm sure visions of pillowfights in our lingerie are dancing through the heads of some readers, while others are shuddering at the thought of hormone-driven bitchfights with so many females under one roof.

I'll admit, there was the odd fight over cleaning duties, and the odd bitchy comment about someone's cooking, and there was the odd argument over who made which phonecall (remember the days before unlimited texts?)

And yes, there was the occasional pillow fight in our pyjamas... and the odd water fight, talcum powder fight (combining the two is NOT recommended....AHEM, Kate...), and my best friend had a suicidal tendency to try to take me down on occasion, despite being 7 inches shorter than me, at which point 'Judo Chop' was deployed (actually judo-drop-to the ground). There was the occasional knock-down-drag-out fight over some trivial domestic matter or another, but eventually we learned how to coexist peacefully.

But that's another story.

Anyway, the fish.

My best friend, Tenille, has always been a fan of The Scaly Ones.  To this day she still dreams of owning a chameleon, and in the time I've known her she's had a great many fish, hermit crabs and axolotls. Some lasted a long time, some were not meant long for this earth.

I remember well The Great Fish War, in which she came back from uni one day to find some sort of massive war and cannibalism had gone on in her fish tank - it was horrific, there were bodies everywhere, including behind the chest of drawers as some attempted escape from the madness. But in general she had a very good track record.

We decided one day after we'd all moved into the share house that it was time to get fish.  Tenille was really keen on getting a siamese fighting fish, and I thought they looked really funky with their bright colours and flowing fins and tails, so I agreed to get one too. The fact that they flare their fins and try to brutally maul each other whenever they see each other had a certain appeal too.

It should be noted here that at no point did we consider actually testing this out; I just liked how crotchety the species is.  I have to respect such commitment to being a loner.

I chose a pale blue fish. He was little compared to Tenille's fish, but I thought he was cute. I named him Zhaan after the blue alien in Farscape, which we had recently started watching.  (I know Zhaan is a female character, but it's a fish. Deal with it.)

Two days later, I found Zhaan floating all manky-like in his bowl. We held a beautiful funerial ceremony for him over the toilet bowl and I headed back to the pet shop.

I'm not some heartless monster; I was in mourning. But I'd just bought this fishbowl... I was a uni student - this was a considerable investment of funds at the time.

I chose a blue-red fish whom I named Beatle (pronounced Beeattle, like in Help!). He was big and burly and looked like a survivor - the Rambo of siamese fighting fish.

Unfortunately, he proved to be the Steve McQueen of siamese fighting fish.

He was a jumper, and no matter how I tried to find ways to keep him in his bowl, he had a will to be free.  Or he had a will to make it across to the far side of the cabinet to take out the enemy fish... At any rate, he made several escape attempts over the next few weeks which were thwarted at every turn.  While Tenille's fish swam docile and content in his bowl, Beatle did everything he could to strike out for greener, drier pastures.

He finally made a desperate bid for freedom one evening while we were cleaning their bowls.  I'd transplanted him to a temporary bowl of water while I cleaned his.  He saw I was distracted by my task and seized the opportunity to make his last best escape attempt.  He leapt from the bowl, and somehow managed to make it the 30cm from his bowl to the sink.

I lunged for him, horrified, but he desperately wiggled his way to the drain, somehow managed to worm his way through the grating and was gone.

"Beatle, nooooooooooooooooooo...." I screamed fruitlessly down the drain. Observers claim is reminded them of the moment Luke finds out Darth Vader is his father.  It wasn't true. It wasn't possible.

But it was. I never saw him again.

I like to think he made it, Nemo-style, and that somewhere out there his descendants are still telling the story of his great escape.

Meanwhile, the newest addition, Experiment 626, is still happily living out his days in his bowl, and alive.  Frabjous.